How do you communicate? Quiz
đź’¬ Communication in Marriage Quiz
“How well do you and your spouse really communicate?”
Use this quiz to reflect on your strengths and discover where your communication could improve.
Instructions:
Choose the answer that most closely reflects your typical behavior or experience. Be honest with yourself—this is a tool for growth, not judgment.
1. When there’s a disagreement, how do you and your spouse usually handle it?
A. We talk it out calmly and respectfully.
B. One of us usually shuts down while the other pushes to talk.
C. It often turns into an argument.
D. We avoid it and pretend everything is fine.
2. How often do you feel heard and understood by your partner?
A. Almost always.
B. Sometimes, but not consistently.
C. Rarely.
D. I often feel misunderstood or ignored.
3. When you’re upset, how do you communicate with your spouse?
A. I express my feelings clearly and respectfully.
B. I hint at what’s wrong but expect them to pick up on it.
C. I get defensive or shut down.
D. I often lash out or stay silent for days.
4. How comfortable are you talking about sensitive topics (e.g. money, sex, boundaries)?
A. Very comfortable—we talk openly.
B. Somewhat comfortable—we try but it’s awkward.
C. Not comfortable—it usually leads to tension.
D. We avoid those topics altogether.
5. How often do you and your spouse intentionally check in with each other emotionally?
A. Weekly or more.
B. Occasionally.
C. Rarely.
D. Never—it feels unnecessary or uncomfortable.
6. What do you do when you feel hurt by something your spouse said or did?
A. I express how I feel and why it hurt me.
B. I wait for them to notice and apologize.
C. I withdraw or become passive-aggressive.
D. I bottle it up or explode later.
7. When your spouse talks about something important, how do you respond?
A. I give full attention and respond with empathy.
B. I listen, but my mind sometimes wanders.
C. I listen but usually jump in with solutions.
D. I don’t always take it seriously or tune out.
8. How often do you show appreciation or affection through words?
A. Daily.
B. Occasionally, when I think of it.
C. Rarely—it’s not really my thing.
D. Only when it’s expected.
9. How do you handle feedback or criticism from your partner?
A. I listen and try to grow from it.
B. I get defensive but reflect later.
C. I take it personally and get upset.
D. I avoid the conversation altogether.
10. Do you feel emotionally safe to express your true thoughts and feelings?
A. Yes, absolutely.
B. Mostly, but I sometimes hold back.
C. Not really—I fear being judged or misunderstood.
D. No—I’ve learned not to open up.
🔍 Scoring
Give yourself:
- 4 points for every A
- 3 points for every B
- 2 points for every C
- 1 point for every D
Total your score out of 40.